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(12:12 pm - 11.11.2001 - me=scared... just another card - i feel  ) hmmmm. first off, sorry to simon because since i changed my layout, he can't view it easily since he's such a rebel and doesn't like to support bill gates and microsoft like the rest of the world does. my diary can only be view in internet xplorer not freaking netscape. sorry! for now, i'm happy with my layout... but of course, i'm always looking for different things to mess with it. this layout probably won't last for long... an ongoing theme with all my layouts. but it keeps my busy. so there. tonite at work was fine. thank god i wasn't the only female there tonite! yay! i worked my aisle with jonathan, and we did just fine. he took my side though.. damnit! usually i do the salad dressing-condiment side and the other person does the noodles-sauce side, but i was getting backstock when he came and started on my side. but i'm easy going, so i didn't mind. old frigid joe even spoke four words to me! no they weren't "fucking bitch, shut up!" he thanked me for something. he said "thank you very much." lol whatever. i don't even remember what it was for. so it wasn't that important. like always, we got done early again today! neato! hehe. i spent my whole lunch break talking to mike. i knew he was upset when i saw him earlier, so when lunch came i went into the bakery and asked him if he was ok. he was suprised i noticed. it's not hard for women to notice things like that. something happened at home (with his friends) that had upset him and he couldn't get it out of his mind. i felt so bad for him! at least he told me that i'd cheered him up. he put his head on my shoulder. he's so darn nice-(that's just code for 'i want him.') he told me that 'we have to hang out!' and told me he'd give me his number. then he asked for mine. so i got a pen and wrote it down for him. he tried to put it in his pocket, but his hands had sugar and flour all over them, so i picked the paper up and put it in his pocket for him. hehe. ; ) lol, i even got to wipe off some poppyseeds off of his face. why is he gay...?!??! some kid that used to work nitestock came back tonite (i didn't know him before) and apparently he thinks he knows everything, and is always up doug's ass. he seems pretty cool though. i know marilyn doesn't like him. lol. vivian's son (donald - aka baby d) starts tonite. that'll be weird. lori from produce brought in a picture to show everyone of me. how embarassing. her daughter and i share the same birthday and in third grade, so did our teacher, so we all got our picture taken together. crazy that her daughter (danielle) just had a baby. i couldn't even imagine! doug's wife (deb) kept on telling me how 'adorable' it was. puke! i could only roll my eyes. she showed it to josh, so i'm sure he'll be laughing about it next time i see him. how weird, this entry is on 11.11 and i'm writing it at 12:12. yeah. fun. i slept all day yesterday. i hate wasting the day like that, but my, i do love sleep. xcept i had some fucked up nightmare. i can't get these two ghosts from the movie 13 ghosts out of my mind! it's starting to freak me out! when i get up and they're aren't any lights on, i'm scared! i am pretty sure i had another 'war' dream but not like the last one. my mind is working overtime when i'm sleeping, and when i'm awake, it's not. = P that's how i work. like, in the summer, i'd leave the backdoor open, and when i'd be getting ready to go upstairs, i'd go to close the door, but i'd close it really fast. i'd be paranoid that someone would be standing there, where i couldn't seem them, waiting for me to come to the door... and then right when i go to close it, they violently push it open. so i'd basically slam it shut and lock it within a second. i still do it even if i was just outside. it's just cause i'm here alone. when mom lived here, i never got scared like that. damn. i was supposed to call mom yesterday. i'll call her today.. maybe. i'll probably be sleeping. i've been so happy lately, i knew it'd come to an end. i can pinpoint the xact time that it did too. i was talking to mark (the whole reason i was so damn happy in the first place). on friday i had bought him a card at target, i saw it and immediately picked it up cause it was the perfect card for him. well yesterday when i got home, and was so happy, and in love with mark, that i was inspired to write a little poem for him and make his card all creative and nice. well i did. and i mailed it. and tonite when i was talking to him, i wanted him to have the card right then, and i said "i wish the mail didn't take three days." he asked why.. and i said "just cause." i didn't want to tell him i had gotten him (another) card cause i wanted it to be a suprise. well i just told him i was sending him something that he deserved (i knew he wasn't thinking it was a card). but he guessed a few things, and he said "a card" like it wouldn't even matter. it wasn't just the card, it was more about the poem. it just made me feel stupid how he said... 'another card?' now get this - i've sent him what... like 30 cards or something since we've known each other (about 2 years) i can see that it might get boring, but at least it's something! i just felt like it didn't mean anything to him. but i took the effort, to 1. look at cards to send him 2. buy the right card 3. think of something nice and creative to put in it 4. write someting funny on the envelope. i guess guys don't care about that crap as much as women do. if i got a card every once in awhile telling me how special i was, etc. i'd love it! i'd cherish it. i'd feel great about myself knowing that someone loved me. so yeah. i think that's all i have to say for now. doubt'll be the fire of your delight-but you're never gonna come back down-a halve the pop song on the five-but you're never gonna come back down-to grab the t-shirt off the line-but you're never gonna come back down-i think she's murderously sly-but you're never gonna come back down ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
