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(3:08 pm - 04.23.2002 - crystal dildo and desires - i feel  ) lookie here doesn't that "trophy" look like a huge crystal dildo? hehehe. (thought stolen from somewhere) mark made me call off work tonite. that makes my total days off 4. i'm afraid that i won't go back tomorrow. but alas, i must. i have this huge urge to waste a bunch of money. that might be fun if i actually had the money to waste! i don't like whining about my lack of funds, but it's apart of everyone's lives. i really hate cravings and/or urges. a few days ago, i had the biggest urge to play the sims. needless to say, i couldn't find the cd-rom when i wanted to play it. but i did find it a few days later, and now i can't stop playing it! and also a few days ago, i had the biggest craving for fried chicken! ugh. i haven't had like, fast food, or anything really nasty like that in awhile. someone get me some fried chicken. cravings really suck. ouch. someone just signed off of my yahoo pager and it really hurt my ears. yahoo sucks too. it's always messing up and shutting my computer down. stupid yahoo. god, it's freezing in here! i think i'm going to color my hair tonite. i'm really bored. everything is totally falling apart around here. the recliner is broken, well, yeah, that's about it right now... but the house is trashed. i think i'm just going to make short paragraphs now. isn't that exciting? oooooh! that was a really short one. only two sentences. the excitement is just too much for me to handle. god, i'm really bored! so like, 3 days ago was everyone's favorite holiday, 4/20. yay! i hate drugs. i didn't hear any crazy 4/20 stories yet, so i don't think anyone was quite in the "spirit" of it this year. i can't believe layne staley is dead. again, stupid drugs. well, justin and i have this theory that is was actually courtney love that killed him. next one to go is definitely chris cornell. damn it courtney! amira is totally upset about it. why do rock stars have to go and do stupid drugs? i just can't understand that. blah. seems like everyone but me has seen the new 311 video on mtv2. our stupid cable company doesn't carry mtv2. dorks. sure i saw the video online, but my computer doesn't do it's justice, i know that for sure. i did have a good dream about 311 and dave moore. really weird. hell, i'm writing about it: i was walking around in this mall, and all these people from high school were there. well then, the bell rang, and i knew i had to go to history class. i walked in, and there were 3 rows of seats (just like it was my senior year) and dave moore (my huge crush from high school) was sitting in the second row. there were only 2 seats in the second row, so i decided to sit next to him. (something i never would have done in real life.) well, it got really dark in class, and dave had this glow in the dark shirt or whatever, and then, at the front of the class, there was 311. i know they sang a few songs, but i was too busy drooling over dave. but then i woke up cause mark called! ugh! lol, just kidding. speaking of mark and things he does to piss me off, on friday he's going over to his brother's house, mainly to get drunk and become more social. i really don't have a problem with that, but, he invited this girl, lindsey, that he likes. that doesn't mesh well with my jealousy. i mean, he'll be somewhat drunk, she's pretty, and probably will be drunk too... hmmm. hard to guess what might happen. alcohol doesn't affect your decision making abilities at all, no? but damn it all to hell if i want to go out to the bar with patrick. that's a big no. where's the fairness in that one? (not like i even want to go to a bar with patrick, but still!) oh my gosh. here's something to make mark jealous! sometimes justin will sing songs to me, and damn, he's never sounded sexier than when he sings "when worlds collide" by pm5k. (hello, i want that new pm5k album soon!) damnnnn. i only mentioned that because it just came on the radio. justin could be a rockstar if he wanted to. he has the screaming voice for it. ; ) not like i would know anything about what justin sounds like when he screams. hehehe. damn, i'm gonna get it from mark when he reads this shit. luckily justin isn't too uh, talented, with his computer skills, so he doesn't even know about my diary. thank god. wow. the line up for this years rolling rock town fair isn't that exciting. godsmack (seen before, good show), outkast (ehh), nickelback (couldn't care less), p.o.d. (overplayed, but ok), aaf (yeah, ok), sevendust (seen before, wanna see again!), default (yeah, ok) and injected (yeah sure). but whatever. i'm awaiting the incubus show, hoping they'll play everything off of s.c.i.e.n.c.e. and make all the teenage girls go "what the fuck is this shit?". morning view is a "pop-py" album. i mean, nice to know you getting played on mtv? what's that? just because brandon is good looking. that's shit. i'm not going on about that. does anyone remember their dreams as well as i remember mine? it's really weird. my dreams are so much more alive than my actual life. sad. it's cold today. i need a hot shower, bye. don't be afraid-i didn't mean to scare you-so help me-jesus-make up your mind-and i'll promise you-i will treat you well-my sweet angel-so help me-jesus ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 