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(5:38 pm - 06.23.2002 - i said whip me! oh no, whip -it-!! - i feel  ) ugh. work tonite. i don't wanna. i am being a big baby about this. it's 5:30 now, only 4 hours till i have to start getting ready. damn it all to hell. i think i'm just going to start working like mad. raking in the hours, for a change. the fact that once again, i'm broke wouldn't have anything to do with it. i keep on thinking today is monday. that really fucks my mind up. it being sunday, when you think it's monday, really really throws things off. my mind just won't agree with the calendar, that today, in fact, is sunday. stubborn mind. why did i come here to write an entry? i didn't have anything to say really. yesterday i wrecked the whole desk trying to scan something for mark. cds, papers, a jar of pickles, a can of pop, just everything that was on the desk, is now on the floor. and to be honest, it'll probably stay there for quite some time. i just don't feel like doing anything today. or any other day for that matter. so yeah, nik's graduation party was yesterday, but i wasn't there. for some reason, i thought jess and joe were going to call me, and tell me what time they were going and come and get me, but that never happened. so i sat at home yesterday. all day alone. the phone never rang. i was so lonely. yet, another day when i just want the phone to ring, for someone to maybe take notice that i'm not at nik's party, and call me up. maybe make plans to come and get me, since most of my friends have cell phones. heck, even mark didn't call until after we talked online. that always happens though. the one day i want the phone to ring, it never does. i really need to make more friends or something. or at least, stay in better contact with the few friends i have. and, i could have called them, so in actuality, it's my fault. i dreamt last nite that my dad hated me. like, intensely hated me. i never did anything to him. maybe it's the alert on my diary. i'll have to take that off now. it's been a week. maybe he actually did read my diary, and that's why my mind thinks he hates me. but in this dream, i had these 3 dresses. two of them were like prom dresses, one was silver, with sequins and stuff. and the other was black with these really pretty beads sewn into the fabric. then the last dress, was like the one i ordered (!) a few days ago. just a black cotton dress. nothing fancy, just something to throw on. i have no idea why i had these dresses though. i've decided to eat healthier. no more ice cream, wings, or any other food in excess. i get so bored here, and being that i'm so lazy, instead of cleaning, or doing something constructive, i sit and eat. that's so bad! no more! you know how you'll just be sitting there watching tv, and you're bored, so you just get some chips, or whatever, and you're eating them, not really realizing just how many you've eaten, and you look down, and almost the whole bag is gone? errr, maybe that's just me? i've been good lately. i haven't bought a bag of chips in about 3 months. if i crave them, i buy pretzels, cause they are way healthier. and no more pop. i'll drink diet pop, but nothing else. there's so much sugar in it, it's really disgusting. the ice cream is the death of me though. i have some sort of plan in my head, we'll see how long i'll go with it. as i write this though, there is a 24 oz. wild cherry pepsi sitting on my desk. ha. and i'm preheating the oven to make a pizza! yes, i stick to my convictions! anyhow. i should do some laundry before i go to work, but.... no. i'm going to stay online and look for things to download. the computer is an evil tool of my best ability: procrastionation!!!! evilness! bwahahaha! uh. i have to go to the post office tomorrow. someone remind me. i must say, i do love let's sing it.com. they have just about every artist i've looked for there. not necessarily every song, but almost every artist. way to go! even though they do have 'down' by 311 listed underneath the wrong album. i'm just waiting for them to post all the songs that i added. today's lyrical selection is especially for steph. when a good time turns around-you must whip it-you will never live it down-unless you whip it-no one gets their way-until they whip it-i say whip it-whip it good!!!!!! ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
