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(1:52 pm - 03.12.2003 - i can't fail forever - i feel  ) yeah, so i failed my test again. the first thing you have to do is parallel park, and believe me, i did it perfectly. after i did, the instructor told me to pull out of the spot. the last thing my mom said to me before she got out of the car was: "make sure you back up enough to get out of that spot". that was resounding in my head, so i stupidly backed up, and kept on backing up until i bumped into a barrel. whoops. the instructor was like "what went wrong??? you did that perfectly, the best i saw all day, and then, weren't you looking in your mirrors? i was all ready to go for a drive!" he was the nicest instructor i've had yet. my next test is tomorrow @ 2pm. still need those positive thoughts. afterwards, we stopped back at the house and got moms meds, and we went to kings. ate a little dinner, then went to the movies. we saw bringing down the house, which was a ton better than it looked in the previews. quite funny. i think today we're doing the same thing, but we'll see chicago, finally. mom got me watching american idol. i didn't watch one episode last season, and now this season, i sooo want clay aiken to win. he's so adorable. that's such a strong voice for his body. i want his body. i think i have a problem, i like gay men. too bad i'm not a man, then that wouldn't be a problem. i'm sitting here waiting for my nintendo hookups. i want to play badly. i love my mom. on the 9th, kelly leasure, a girl that was a year below me in high school died in a car crash. she was 20. the sad thing is, her older brother, chris, died in a car crash when he was 20. the mother has one child left. i feel really badly for the family. they grew up next to my stepdad, brad. so, mom told me to call him and tell him that she died. i did. i just left a message. i guess that proves just what i'll do for my mom. i went to the funeral home and signed the book, and left. i get incredibly shakey the second i step foot into a place like that. i was going to go up to the casket, but, i just couldn't. i did at chris's viewing, and i bust out crying. i didn't even know him all that well. i've only been to 4 viewings in my life, and only 1 funeral. justin called me yesterday to wish me a happy 311 day. that was a surprise, cause he always likes to tease me by saying 311 is gay. he was at some concert with like 5 bands that i didn't really care for, except for the new hed p.e. song, blackout. wow! i really want a glass of water. the #1 thing i like about winter is that you don't have to add ice to water out of the tap for an ice cold glass of water. heh. don't you put words in my mouth
don't try to shut me up
i'm not about plastic skin
i gotta get out
gotta get out, in
what about those things you said to me
what about the time we've wasted
every day's just like the one before
every time i see your face i, blackout know i gotta get in
blackout, just let me in
blackout, know i gotta get in
but i gotta know now
where do i fit in don't you tell me what to think
you'll never know how i should feel
i see through plastic skin
i gotta get out
gotta get out, in
what about the five o'clock news
what about the sunday paper
every day's just like the one before
every time i turn the page i, blackout wanna know now
where do i fit in ~*~liz
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