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(8:23 am - 06.26.2003 - too soon - i feel  ) have you ever felt something so quickly and then later realized what a fucking ass you are? yeah, that just happened to me. i kind of regret writing my last entry... but we'll see what's up with these feelings once i get to talk to her. thank god for 2 people beating some sense into me. i do have to realize that things just can't happen that quickly. too much risk of getting hurt.. or am i already? i know when i want to cut myself, it must be bad. haven't felt like it for a little while now. thankfully i have enough strength to not do it. never have. let's hope none of that strength slips away. so, jeanette was supposed to call yesterday (i think) but, she didn't. i go to work and john tells me that last nite she kissed that girl amy, when just the day before she told me that she didn't want anything to do with her. *shrug* i'm going to try my hardest not to get burned. i knew it would have been too good to be true. i knew i shouldn't have believed her. i trusted myself to not let my feelings get the best of me... once again, i've let myself down. pity party. bah. nothing else to say. ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 