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(1:56 pm - 06.30.2003 - i have no fucking idea what to title this shit - i feel  ) note to self: do not skip eating for 3 days. your body will pay you back hardcore. also: stop doing what you're doing, it's making you quite forgetful. if you can't remember to close the car door, or close the freezer door, you might have a problem. hmm. i don't know what else to say. here's what mark left in his message that made me cry: his exact words: "hi, i'm not sure if you can hear the song that's been playing, but i want you to know that up until this morning i would listen to this song and think of only you and how happy you made me. how perfect i thought we were and how we felt so right. but incase you can't hear it, it's brian mcknight's "still the one". *big sigh* but that was only until this morning. you probably don't care too much about what i'm feeling cause i know i don't matter to you, but i just want you to know that this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do, and it's pretty much tearing me apart, it's absolutely killing me over here. and i can't think of any of this.... but, i never meantanything to you and when i did i was nothing more than a means to an end, never the end in itself. i don't know if you're still listening, or if you got tired of listening to me and deleted this, just know that i have no hard feelings towards you. the only thing i do hope, is when you're alone, in an empty space, you think of me. i hope that when you need someone to talk to, and understand you, that you think of me and how i was always there to understand, accept, and love everything about you. anyways, i'm going to go. i love you liz. goodbye." ouch! kill me! i now have digital cable, and dsl. yippee. i'm a happy girl. heh. i wrote birl the first time. gah! now i just tried to type girst. the cable guy was definitely here for like 4 hours. if i listen to bandages by hot hot heat one more time, i think i might explode. rhcp/qotsa tour. interesting.. and deftones nixed cky and are bringing along cold and someone else instead. too lazy to see who the other band is right now. i think it's pretty funny that i know more music news than my local overnite dj. fucking stoner. heh. these bandages cover more than scrapes-cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes-these bandages are anonymity-i've been shaking from making an awful decision-i've been running and running-feels like my head is spinning round and round-bandages on my legs and my arms from you-don't worry now, don't worry now-don't worry cos it's all under control ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 