|
(6:31 am - 12.10.2001 - think for me..! - i feel  ) ok. so i was a 'bad girl' and called off work tonite. i was apprehensive to do it, cause it was my first time calling off with this job. it was almost too easy! this could be the start of something bad. i know i'll probably regret calling off tonite when the next paycheck rolls around. oh well. i really didn't feel well enough to go to work. i had loads of laundry to do, that i didn't have quite enough time to do, and i'm just pure lazy. i was afraid that doug was going to call my house to make sure i wasn't coming in or something, but he didn't. whew. i just called and told the girl in customer service to leave doug a note telling him i was too sick to come in. hehe. at least i got my laundry done. well.. i didn't get to wash my sheets yet. i'm going to try and do that tomorrow. they needed washed badly. ok.. so.. what is there to say? my emotions are fucked at the moment. i need someone to think for me. tell me what to believe. any other opinion is better than mine. so mat where are you? i haven't talked to you in ages. damnit! hope the woman situation is getting better... simon you know what i'm thinking. or at least you should..... what else can i write about you? n'importe comment beaucoup vous m'examinent, je serai toujours l�. ne supposez pas, de fa�on ou d'autre il travailleratovah anytime you need more help with your diary.. just ask! hehe. and mark let me do your diary layout damnit! lol. no one else reads this shit, so i don't have anyone else to comment about. justin called me this morning around 11am. i didn't think i'd hear from him for at least another week. lol. we had a lovely conversation. no, really! he keeps on telling me that he's done with amy, and he wants to break up with her. i know he won't. she really is his heart. he won't let that go. not like i want him to. we talked for way too long though. i know once he gets his bill, he won't call again for awhile. oh well. i'm tired. ehhh. i don't have any food left in the house besides peanut butter, eggs, jelly, soda, butter, and sour cream. that's all. seriously. what the hell. sour cream? i don't know why. don't ask me. at least i have the ingredients to make peanut butter and jelly. lol. that's a plus. i always feel better when i have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. it's so comforting. but nothing like the way my mom makes a sandwich, not pb&j though. a real sandwich. god. they are soo good when she makes them. my burgers are better though. hehe. i also make better peanut butter cookies. mine aren't even in the same league as anyone elses. haha. it's taking me so long to get to 100 entries. i'll be there by the end of the year. i think. probably not. i procrastinate too much. i think i realized my biggest flaw tonite. i have no motivation. whatsoever. none. even if i'm in a situation that only benefits me... i still put it off. maybe not even do it at all. where did my lack of motivation come from? i wish i could get it back! another flaw? haha, pick one. i have tons. i can never express myself the way that i mean. i try and say one thing.. and it comes out in such an opposite way. always negative. that fucking pisses me off too. that's why i need someone to think for me. any offers? lol. anyways.. i'm off. i've got something important to do. just when i thought that i was better-i realized that i don't know what better was-is it-better than I used to be-better for you or for me-i'd better hurry cause I need a better view of things-don't know where i've been-don't know where to go-can't remember all the things that i need to know-and i'm not getting any better-cause everytime i can't remember what it's for-is it-better now than yesterday-better that i am this way-i'd better not be so afraid-i bet i shouldn't say ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 