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(5:20 am - 01.20.2002 - birthday drinks and dogs - i feel  ) so anyways, back to writing. you'd think i'd have tons to write about since i haven't for awhile. on my birthday, my dad (gasp!) had left a message telling me he had the nite off and wanted to take me out to dinner. the nite before was rough, so i decided that i was going to call him later. a little later i was online, and he sent me an email, so i immediately replied, and we planned on going out at 7. i thought it was going to be just us, but mom and ray ended up coming too. thank god. we went to the church brew works. it was pretty nice. there, my dad bought me 3 drinks. fuck, even then i was feeling good. then my dad decided he wanted to go out somewhere else (wait, i thought it was my birthday...) so we decided to go to a local bar, pollock's. that was alright. on my own i finished half a bottle of rum. lol, my dad was impressed that i drank both him and my brother combined under the table. i was repeatedly called a lush. dad drove me home and i felt fine. no puking, no hangover. thank god. the next nite however, was a different story. starz had called and we planned to go out. first off, she bought me a bottle of rum. (which i probably won't be drinking anytime soon.) we decided to go to the outback steakhouse since i was in the mood for a good steak. the wait was nearly an hour long. crazy! but, we finally got seated and starz decided we were going to eat everything. bad move for later on. between the two of us, our bill was just about $60. fucking insane for two girls. i was so pissed too. i had ordered this $16 prime rib, and i hardly touched it, and the waitress asked if i wanted it wrapped up, and i said yes. fuck, i even pointed to what i wanted wrapped up, cause i had cut all the fat off of the meat. well, waiting for our desserts, starz knows the waitress threw away my leftovers. practically all of my $16 steak right in the trash. what shit. i didn't even talk to the manager. so now i'm going to write a complaint. anyways, afterwards, we decided to go to where starz works, the parkway tavern. mainly cause she gets free drinks, and her boyfriend was working that nite. so being so fucking full, i did the stupid thing and decided to have a few free drinks as well. i ended up drinking 5 different drinks in a little over an hour. the last one i had to drink quickly, but i did it. and then i got up to put on my jacket way too fast. i was standing there waiting for starz to put on her jacket, and i quickly said "i'm going outside right now!!!!!!! at least i made it to the door, lol, cause i ended up throwing up all over the sidewalk, and a some of the door. fucking sick! lol. i took two steps and did it again, and again. nice oragney puke all over the front sidewalk. of course, the owner of the bar/restaurant saw me. lol. i felt just fine afterwards. starz kept on apologizing for getting me sick. i didn't care at all. i knew it was going to happen, seeing as i was so full and kept on changing drinks. at least i like starz's new boyfriend. he seems really nice, not like all the others. finally. hopefully she'll keep this one for awhile. my uncle was supposed to come down on saturday and help clean up the house a bit and do some other things, but i called on friday nite and gave him an excuse not to come down. mostly cause i didn't have time the week before to clean up enough to not be embarrassed by the presentation of the house. but on sunday, i was sleeping around 9am and my dogs started going nuts. i brushed it off and tried to go back to sleep, since i had to work that nite. but then i heard my brother's voice. i got out of bed and called downstairs. of course my brother and uncle had come over anyways, figuring that i wouldn't be home. ray said "oh good, you're home, that way you can help us with the dog." fuck. there came over to take my doggies away. i cursed at them from upstairs, because 1. i was in the middle of sleeping 2. i the house was a wreck and i didn't know they were coming and 3. i didn't want them to take my doggies. so i guess they had tried to get a leash around tim, but he'd deathly afraid of strangers, so i came downstairs. my uncle told me to put the harness on tim. i got it on and then i had to carry him outside and put him in the cage myself. fucking shit. tim was my dog. i didn't even get to say goodbye to him. i started crying like a baby. my uncle tried to comfort me a little, but it didn't help. then he started in on "if you're up to it then you can start picking up things around here, etc. etc." what the hell. you just take my dogs away and then he decided to just bust in on cleaning the house. fucking shit. they also took grace. i think they took her to the vet so he could put her to sleep. i called mark. seeing as he's picked up the phone so many times before and just heard me sobbing. he tried to comfort me, but even that didn't work. i cried for so many hours that day. i knew my uncle and brother were coming back, so i decided to start cleaning. crying, cleaning and trying to tell mark just what had happened weren't a good combination after a nite of drinking. after my uncle and ray came back, i just decided to go upstairs and avoid them. i was so angry, i didn't want to be around them. i talked to mark a little longer and then just went back to bed. since then i've had dreams, hallucinations, and just general thoughts about my dogs still being here. = ( i'm so sad! i'm thinking about getting a kitten or something after the house is ready for one. living here without my doggies is so weird. i don't know when the mailman comes, i don't know when the pizza guy is here, i don't step in whatever presents they had left me on the floor. nothing. god i miss them. it's not a complete house without them. there is something else i have to talk about, but i don't feel like wasting space. justin has been being sweet lately. that's always a good thing. patrick and i had a 'discussion' one morning. lol. somehow it came about that we were to do anything together, he would have to fuck me. lol. i don't think so. he's been so pissed at everyone at work lately. i can't stand that. i try my best to get along. it really isn't that hard!!! marilyn made me a cake for my birthday. josh gave me a card and so did patrick. he said his card had a 'hidden message'. the card read: "liz, for your birthday here's wishing you a great big serving of all the good things you're deserving! happy birthday, love pat". he stood there while i read it, and i looked at him and smiled and said "so when do i get the "good thing" that i deserve??!?" he said it depends on whether or not i was a good girl or a bad girl. lol i told him i could be either. funny stuff. jessica (the girl who never forgets a birthday) forgot mine. she didn't send a card, call, or anything! lol, but it's ok. i understand. i didn't even get to see her or joe once while they were home, except for the 5 second hug that i got from joe when i was late for work. i didn't get to see shari before she went back either. well, there's always the summer. i'm dying to go to the 3-11 day concert in new orleans. that would be the ultimate. i know it won't happen this year, cause i'm broke, and i don't know who would go with me. i'm going to ask for it for christmas this year though. that will be an excellent present. mark got me a nice dvd player, estd2, and the floyd cd i wanted, along with two cards. lol. he absolutely spoiled me this year. i don't know how i slept without my down comforter that he got me. anyways. i should have made this two entries cause this is way long, so i'm leaving. now i'm down-and i wonder how i never got the burn-and if i'm ever gonna learn-how lonely people make a life-one strain at a time-forgot about-everything and everyone i needed before-tryin' to get a handle on a reason to shine-pickin' up the pieces that are falling behind takes time ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
