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(12:25 pm - 09.17.2001 - looking back on religion - i feel  ) you know, i've been a lot of different things in my life. it's so strange how things just can change overnite. at one point in my life, i was a very devoted christian. that was all i knew. all i loved doing. but now. i couldn't even imagine myself getting so deeply involved in that again. i'm not saying it would be a bad thing. when i first went to church i was so apprehensive, it was something so totally new. but once i felt comfortable, i threw myself into it. there wasn't anything i wouldn't do for my church. i guess i just wanted to xperience something that i never had before. mom never once took me to church. i guess she just wanted me to figure out what i wanted. she gave me the freedom to choose what i wanted to be, etc. some kids grow up in the church, and that's all that they know, and then later on, there's a good possibility that they'll rebel against what they've been taught, etc. the church did some good things for me. i met people that i never would have. made a strong bond with shari, which i value so much. got to play a little with acting, which i miss. i -love- acting. i even got to sing, and people thought it was great! jim actually begged me to sing with him. i even met that wonderful guy (jason strunk!) that i will one day, eventually meet again, and marry. lol. all the events that went on, dcla, creation, chrysalis, murder mysteries, morning bible studies. there was so much. but everything with that church links back into leanne. i never ever ever would have gone if it wasn't for her, and that's the reason i will never go back (well, oumc at least). so you're asking yourself why i got on that subject. well i was going through one of my 'lets-listen-to-the-cds-that-i-haven't-even-looked-at-in-the-last-four-years' moods. and that got me listening to newsboys, and dctalk. lol. i listen to jars of clay all the time though. confusing weekend. spent all of it in the house (no kidding!) i spent most of the time either sleeping, being lazy, or talking to justin or mark. today justin left for florida. he should get there on wednesday. he called me this morning before they left. and i just might be crazy, but i think i'll miss him calling me a lot. he said somethings that just plastered a smile all over my face. i laughed so much when we played the dating game. lol. i ended up with freaking shifty shellshock. see, even just thinking about the games we have played makes me happy. i have such a good time when i talk to him. geez, especially last nite ; ) ahhhh! he's still with amy. damnit! i'm so confused. haha, he was telling me that he was gonna give my number to some kid named rob. (omg!!!! he's so on my mind. i just tried to type in rob - but i typed justin the first time!!!) lol. jesus. i'm such a girl! nothing wrong with that though. i was gonna catch the bus early this morning, but no. i'm being lazy right now. i really should have gone by now, but i'll probably put it off again until tomorrow. dude, the bus totally does go by nicks house! that's crazy! it's good to know though. it looks so nice outside, but i'm shivering in here. arg! right now would have been the perfect time to take that bus! stupid me. i should have just gotten ready after i hung up with justin. omg, can i mention him just a little more maybe???? lol. freaking starz!!! i haven't heard from her in like two weeks! just strange. she would normally at least leave a message. looks like i'll call her again tonite. yeah, i think i'll go out and get those applications tomorrow... procrastination at it's finest. when i babysat the kids on friday, they left two games, and hehe, marty forgot the dinosaur again! this dinosaur has been here all summer. he's went to all the concerts i've been to, eat-n-park, etc. lol. i know nick and i named him at ozzfest, but i can't remember what it was now. so i've been playing these two games. they are made by the same company that made 'the sims'. that game was so addcitive for me before brad stole it. but oh well. christmas is coming. too bad i'm in the grab bag this year, and that means i need $$. if i don't do anything about it this week, i'll be so mad at myself. i'm promising myself tomorrow!! i'll do laundry tonite. ah, i kinda wanted to get out of the house tonite. maybe i'll try calling up one of my friends. everyone is always busy. oh well. tomorrow is another day. in the garage, i feel safe, no one cares about my ways. in the garage, where i belong, no one hears me sing this song. ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
