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(7:59 am - 10.26.2001 - he's gay. i'm alone. forever!!!!!! - i feel  ) hey hey hey. damn. i think almost every nite i've worked, we've gotten done early. i was home by 7am today. we were actually done at 6am (we have until 7:30am) but at 6 we have a 15 minute paid break, so we walked reallllllyyyyy slow so we could get in that paid break. yay! i got my first paycheck back yesterday. thank the lord. my dogs no longer need to eat cornflakes, popcorn, etc. (a note to self: never feed your dogs popcorn again...*shit*) they were quite happy to be eating doggyfood again. lol for once.... so anyways. i'm tired. yep. so here's an amusing story. (sad for me) when i started back at ge, the kid who worked in the bakery all nite caught my eye. he would always smile, be really nice, etc. for the first few days i didn't know his name. then one day i was standing outside of the bathrooms looking at the schedules, and he came out of the bathroom and finally he said "hi, i'm mike." stupidly i said "mark?" duh. i seriously thought he said mark. i guess i didn't use q-tips that day. he said "no, haha, i'm mike!" i said "oh ok, hi mike, i'm liz." the 'nice to meet you's' were exchanged, then i was happy. i finally knew his name!!!! hehe. so all this time, it seemed he was interested in me, and i was esctatic. i like, ran and told marilyn about our brief convo. and was happy for the rest of the nite. then morning came. i noticed he was sitting in the breakroom when i was about ready to leave. i had to go get another direct-deposit form to fill out, so i decided to sit in the breakroom with mike to get to know him better while i was filling out the form. well, i had to take out my wallet to get my information for the form, and inside my wallet, i have an incredibly cute picture of nick hexum (lead singer of 311) with his dogs. mike reaches over, and picks up my wallet and the conversation went like this.... mike: who's that
me: oh that's nick hexum, he a singer, 311... blah, blah, blah.
mike: oh he's cute!
me: yes, yes he is
mike: i was gonna say if you knew him..... (pause)
me: hmmm?
mike: (leans over) i'm gay.
me: -----speechless!!!!!-----
mike: no one here really knows... yadda, yadda, yadda.....
me: -----speechless!-----
mike: (talks some more about being gay)
me: (rejection staring me straight in the eye, i back down, defenseless...) oh well, that's cool, no i won't say anything... blah, blah, blah yep. that's about how it went. i also found out, he's 20 (turning 21 in march) he lives in arnold, which is like a half an hour away. he has to wait for the bus for two whole hours. he gets off at 6am and the bus doesn't come until 8am. poor guy. he doesn't drive cause either. he noticed my key holder (this scooby thing that my -nice- aunt got me for christmas) he wanted it so bad! lol, i'm gonna give it to him tonite. i don't need it, and i wanna do something nice for him. damn, at least i've made a new friend. oh well. i hope this doesn't happen often. knowing my life, it will. i'll have a bunch of gay men friends and no one to love. damn. that's all i have to say for now. i'm gonna try and write later on tonite, damnit, if the freaking mole isn't on!!!!!! = ( i need to do lotsa stuff tonite.... so we'll see. mark is a punk!!!!! hehe. ok. if you're reading this, you have to sign my guestbook too!!!! haha. look, even famous actors sign it, so you should too. please? pretty please with a cherry on top? ok, i'm done begging! just do it!!!!! ; ) later all! i want to hold the hand inside you-i want to take a breath that's true-i look to you and i see nothing-i look to you to see the truth-you live your life-you go in shadows-you'll come apart and you'll go black-some kind of night into your darkness-colors your eyes with what's not there ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
