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(7:47 pm - 04.26.2002 - you're cooler than me - i feel  ) there has been this annoying stupid commercial on lately. local advertising is really cheesy. this commercial starts out showing this old man broken down on the side of the road, looking quite confused and frustrated, as most old people normally look. then it cuts to this police guy saying how important it is to senior citizens to have cell phones in case of emergencies. then it cuts back to the old man, with his hood open, literally banging on the engine with his fists. the nice police man walks over to the old man and hands him a cell, and the old man again, looks confused and frustrated. then it cuts to all the information, and even a website! police sheriff of westmoreland county is holding this drive to collect cell phones for seniors. when i first saw this commercial i just rolled my eyes. first of all, senior citizens are already high-risk drivers, and now they'll have a cell phone to distract them? then i actually went to the site, and found out there's all these rules and things just to get the cells. and thank god it only dials out to 911. i just think it's ridiculous. after having those 4 days off of work, i really didn't feel like going back, but i did. i even felt like calling off tonite, but i'm going in. a mistake that i'll regret later. here's what i've been thinking about lately: ok, i'm not great at explaining things, but i'm gonna try my best. this is all about levels of coolness. whenever i meet someone and they like something that i've never even heard of before, i automatically assume it's much cooler than anything i like. why do i think this? it really bothers me. then if they ask what i like i become embarrassed and don't necessarily want to share my likes with them cause i'm afraid maybe they'll view me as lame, or the horrid, less cool then they. what is coolness anyways? hey, if you like what i like, that's awesome. if you don't that's freaking great, cause maybe i'll learn about new things that i wouldn't have otherwise. so i've been thinking about this cause i started talking to someone who, in my eyes, is way cooler than i am. i became embarrassed when he started learning things about me and i thought "oh no, i'm so uncool compared to him, and he won't want to be my friend at all!" that's all wrong. diversity is the spice of life. what if you only hang out with people that do and like exactly the same things that you do. mundane and incredibly dull. so all in all, i shouldn't be worried about my level of coolness and not be afraid to stand up for myself. yes, go me. tonite is marks "date". i hope he has fun. we only got to talk for 5 minutes this morning and i was sleeping when he called this afternoon. speaking of sleeping, my subconscious is really active. three very strange dreams the last 3 days. i know the one from yesterday was just my body's way of getting back at me for being up 24+ hours. i dreamt the first nite so vividly, that i was awaiting a phone call that never came. not unusual. the second nite was much more involved. i think i must write about it: started out i was at work, and my stepsister came to pick me up. somehow ed and patrick were in the car as well. we were all eating fish sandwiches and drinking pepsi. we dropped ed off at his old broken down creepy mansion. patrick and my sister were making out in the back of the truck while i was trying to keep us from crashing into a wall. *new scene* i'm in my house sitting on the couch. it's really windy outside, it's shaking the house (which, actually happens all the time). it's a snow storm/tornado. i'm afraid that the windows will bust in, so i get up so the glass doesn't shatter all over me. as soon as i get up, the window breaks, but only in 3 distinct small holes. there's snow and glass all over the carpet. my mom's family comes in. my 3 aunts, my mom, my uncle and my grandfather are all wearing towels. they're mad that i've broken the window. i'm standing there trying to figure out how to fix the window, when i look into the front room, closest to the street. there's a huge yellow school bus crashed right into my front room. i think to myself "how in the hell...?" and start walking closer to it, but it slowly disappears. while looking out the front window, i see this creepy old guy (he looks exactly like the old guy in the metallica video enter sandman, but i recognize him as this guy, tony, from work) and i know he wants to kill me. i started screaming at him through the window. he walks over to the door and i open it. he says "you don't want anything to do with me" and walks away. now i pick up the phone and try to call mark. i finally get through and i hide in my bathroom. the stairs in my house are right above the bathroom, so if anyone comes downstairs, you can hear all the old stairs creak. i'm freaking out, trying to tell mark what's happening, when i hear someone coming down the stairs! i walk out of the bathroom, and i see this woman. i know she's coming to kill me, so i get to her and kill with my bare hands, before she can. i go back in the bathroom, and someone else comes down the stairs. i know this figure is seth green's mother (i have no clue!). i scream at her "who are you!?!?" i end up killing her. back in the bathroom, i hear someone else coming down the stairs, it's a manly figure, and i kill it too. back in the bathroom again, i hear something else. i walk into the living room, and i see whoopi goldberg in my front room. she looks like medusa, and is cackling like a witch. she gets close to me, and i bend both of her wrists back until they break. she's now lying on the floor, not dead. i go and get a knife, and chop off her head! i decide to run outside before anything else tries to get me in my house, and somehow i end up on my neighbors roof (i have had this part of the dream before). the sky is black, nothing but darkness. this guy and i are fighting this wolf-type thing. we finally beat it and it turns into this transparent, evil fairy thing. it's on it's knees, with it's hands behind it's back, holding a sword. we hear this voice that fills the sky. "help me, take the sword out of my hands!" we have no clue what to do. suddenly, behind us, appears zena the warrior princess. she says "whatever you do, don't take the sword, it'll destroy my people." so we back off, and the transparent being becomes violent and somehow loses the sword. now we're on the sidewalk in front of my neighbor's house. zena said to me "i can't believe you're happy about this. my civilization is destroyed." and walks away. i turn around and look at my house and i see the gutter falling off. everything around my crumbles to the ground, all the houses, trees, so there's nothing but sky. i run across the train tracks into the little patch of field across from my house. i figure nothing can fall on my and kill me that way. i lay down in the grass, and look up at the sky. i'm pretty sure the ground just swallows me up and i die. then i wake up. now, really i'm not a violent person. = ) if you got through all that i applaud you! i've never even watched zena the warrior princess! then even today i had some really weird dream about my grandfather and these two killer white cats. what's wrong with my subconscious??? my oh my. and i was strong-strong in the sun-i thought i'd see-when day is done-now i'm weaker-than the palest blue-oh so weak-in this need for you ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents |
