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(6:17 am - 05.01.2002 - have i lost my mind, or my book? - i feel  ) i am truly going insane. i received my books today, and i totally immersed myself in the perks of being a wallflower. tonite was the last nite that i had to do my laundry before i had my 3 day work stretch. after talking to mark, i sighed and decided i should gather up all the laundry. with my phone in one hand and the book in the other, i walked into the bathroom to gather up the laundry in there. i then walked down the hall to my room, because i knew there was a pair of pants in there that needed washed. i looked at the book to remember what page i was on.. 108. i made sure i remembered that, then i tossed the book on the dresser at the end of the hall. reaching inside my door to get the pants, i put them on top of the pile of laundry and made my way downstairs, thinking i picked the book back up. i got downstairs, and put the phone back on the charger, and realized that the book wasn't in my hand. i thought "oh stupid me, i must've left it on the dresser..." and continued on to the basement to do the laundry. satisfied with myself that i actually did a somewhat productive act today, i decided to go back upstairs and get the book to finish it. wait, where's the book? it's nowhere to be found. i retraced my steps all over the house. noooooowhere. i thought i might have gotten it stuck in with the pants that were in my room, so i went downstairs, and stuck my hand down in the washer that was quickly filling with ice cold water. i couldn't stand the frigid temperature of the water, so i didn't look around as well as i could in there. i figured it was probably in there, so i had to wait until the wash was done. i heard the washing machine stop. i gleefully ran downstairs hoping to resume feeding my mind, but alas, the book was no where to be found. damnit! i searched the whole house again. this is really aggravating. this is the second time i lost a copy of this book. someone out there doesn't want me to read this book, whatever the cost. so i think i need to develop some sort of tracking device for just about everything i own. i'm always loosing something. and i get so angry at myself when i do. the pre determined time to find this book is 3 months. things i lose always turn up in at least 3 months. hopefully sooner, cause i was sort of attached to reading again. i really don't want to start the other books that are waiting for me, cause i'm sort of anal about things like that. not exactly anal, but.. whatever. hey, at least the laundry is done. dude, i even brought it upstairs instead of leaving it in the basement until it needed done again. heck, i might even become extra ambitious and fold it! i got caught up in this site for awhile tonite. i must have taken 20 different quizzes and one actually said i have a "lack of emotion". oh how wrong that little quiz was. here were the exact words: "your lack of emotion is a disadvantage, but your candor has made you popular." some of these quizzes were quite wrong. read on: "although you are emotional,(wait, you just said that i had a 'lack of emotion' in the other quiz... i'm confused... but go on...) you have full control of behavior(hahaha). being patient is your unique quality. you tend to be a shy person. you may feel uncomfortable with a lot of other people around. (true, true) you sometimes think that you were given a body that does not fit your mind, and perhaps you were born in the wrong year. (huh?) you are much smarter than most people think you are and you do not let other people know about it.(i won't disagree with that...) you have a giant heart that gets crushed all the time. you tend to have an artistic flair. (yep) you like songs about love, lost love and heartbreak. (uh, sure, everyone knows i like country. hehe) your favorite movie is probably the titanic. (yeah, considering i've never seen it..) there are days when you would rather stay home and enjoy time to yourself than to go out and deal with annoying people. (doesn't everyone feel like that sometimes?) cupid has toyed with you. someone you loved has hurt you. your parents fought when you were small. you have thought about getting a tattoo. (these are basic statements that probably everyone has gone through. nice observation though. ha.) and yet another quiz. this one didn't turn out all so bad... your view on yourself: other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. your friends love you because you are a good listener; they'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them. the type of girl/boyfriend you are looking for: you are a true romantic. when you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. your readiness to commit to a relationship: you are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. and you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. the seriousness of your love: you like to flirt and behave seductively. the opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. (and they would be where?) but how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with? your views on education: you may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. you listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. the right job for you: you're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. knowing what you like to do is important; find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. how do you view success: you are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. do not give up when you have not even started yet! be courageous! what are you most afraid of: you are concerned about your image and the way others see you. this means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. (is it so wrong to want to be liked?) it's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.(yep, my number one concern in life is fashion!!!!) who is your true self: you are full of energy and confidence. (what a crock! didn't you just say that i needed to be more courageous? and the energy part? no, maybe you should try the word passionate) you are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. you might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long. anyways, this whole entry was sort of a cop-out cause i didn't feel like writing anything really. someone please help me find my book and/or mind! the way you think depends on what you're going thru-what you create comes from deep inside of you-what you know makes the difference in what you hate-what you love depends on how you relate ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 