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(8:23 am - 05.04.2002 - dorky me - i feel  ) well all that avoiding justin came to an end yesterday. he ended up calling me first. that's the way it should have been. but really his call was in vain, cause he was just bragging to me that he was going to see static-x that nite, and even had backstage passes. oh yay. later on that nite, i gave in and called him, i just wanted to leave a message. but he answered. apparently the concert is tonite, and he has duty, so he doesn't even get to go. i had to rub it in his face too. i shouldn't have though, that karma comes right back.... i decided to get ready for work a bit early tonite, so i could hustle down to ge and get my x-fest ticket. i ran into nik and asked him if he wanted me to just get 3 tickets and he could pay me back later. well, nikki (nik's girlfriend) said she didn't want to go, and nik's mom was being a bitch about it cause the concert is on a friday, and he has school that day. ughhhh. so i don't even know if i get to go now or not! nik said he'd call me on sunday to let me know. i just hope it doesn't sell out before then. it sells out every year! mark promised he'd try to call me last nite. he's away at some accounting thing, but i guess he couldn't find a payphone in the hotel, or he was just too busy making out with her. i already planned what we're going to do tonite. scary movies! hehe. too bad if he doesn't like it! bwahahaha! i don't even know when he'll be home. hopefully not until later, cause i'm hella tired. i finally got to talk to mom too. she called around 8 last nite. i told her everything was ok on this front, and i didn't need to go to the doctor or anything (the problem is still away!), so she was happy about that. she still planning on moving out there i think. i like really want to move. i think it would be nothing but a good thing for me. i told justin i might move to philly and he said "you'll move and you'll forget all about me!" um. this kid. i swear. it just doesn't make sense. we're not even in the same state right now, so why would it matter if i moved? wacko. like i still couldn't call him. if i do move i'll be really glad i'll still be in the eastern time zone. it would wreck everything if i went ahead another hour while mark's stuck an hour behind. if there were 2 hours difference for us, we'd never get to talk. i couldn't imagine. everyone thought i was taking drugs (speed!) lastnite. i did like 6x more work than anyone else has all week combined. it was insane. i guess i'm taking over the 'patrick' role. oh joy. thank god for the weekend off. fuck, i'm even making the fried chicken that i had such a craving for a few days ago. last nite i made sweet and sour chicken, and it was so yummy. by the way, i am a huge dork. i wonder if i'll be able to stay awake for mst 3k. i couldn't last week. 30 minutes into it, i fell asleep. man, i am really bummed about maybe not getting to go to x-fest. i mean, seriously. when nik said he'd go, i was like "it's a definite thing then, right???!?!" he totally said yes. i hate how things just turn around so quickly. man, you know those sugar wafer cookies? i was looking at the package last nite and they have 10 grams of fat in 5 wafers! that's insane! oh man, and i hate the feel of corn starch! omg! it's the most awful feeling! just press your finger down in a box of corn starch! just thinking about it makes me cringe. the ultimate torture for me would be eating corn starch and having spiders crawl on me. i think i'd die if anyone did that to me. god. i'm weird. to reiterate the whole point of this entry: i'm a big pathetic pseudo stalker dork. that about sums it up for today kids. i don't know what i'm saying-well, i don't know if you're there-in the words you are feigning-do you even care ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 