|
(10:03 am - 12.11.2001 - jason - i feel  ) i wish jason still lived next to me with his grandma. jason and i literally grew up together. we were always causing trouble and having fun. his grandmother, jennie, lives next door. when we were younger we constantly made fun of her. she'd always tell jason to eat some 'beef soup and jello'. fuck it's still funny till this day. she always had the best pickles too. every summer when kennywood had their annual community days... we couldn't wait to get there. it was a tradition that we grew out of all too soon. we could never sleep the day before.. and once we got there... we didn't want to leave. we even 'played' kennywood. we'd pick some leaves off of his grandmas bushes and use them as 'tickets' and run around pretending we were on all the rides. god. those summers were the best. we began to ride our bikes soon after that. jason was amazed that i could ride mine with no hands. he would always try.. but never really got the hang of it. we'd go swimming at crystal springs. a pool they closed down quite awhile ago. it didn't take much to entertain us. everything was so much easier back then. why were we in such a hurry to grow up? lol. later on we'd play basketball and hockey. jason has a.d.d. and when he didn't take his medication he'd become violent. everyone thought he was this little brat then went around terrorizing his grandma's cats.. and just generally being a little boy. i only remember once when he got mad enough to hit me. but any other time, we'd just fight. i think we fought more than i remember, but in a fun way. we would spend hours prank-calling people. the local television station here, wqed always does a telethon. we found out that they broadcasted it in real time. so we'd call up the telethon people and play around with them for quite awhile. it was so funny to see how they were reacting to us on the tv. they'd eventually get pissed off and hang up and look into the camera and shake their heads. we did it so much they wouldn't even pick up the phone after awhile. just for old times sake.. i did it yesterday. i found i couldn't stop calling either! i wish jason could have called with me. lol. one day we had the greatest fun with this huge cardboard box. we played around with it all day until it was torn into shreads. we'd play stupid old video games. we'd climb trees, and make huge blanket tents on jennie's front porch. it's so funny to think of what we did to amuse ourselves. my mom and his mom, annette, would bake cookies every year for christmas. that was a tradition. we did so much together. i feel like jason is more my brother, than my actual brother is. i love jason. no matter what, i always will. later on, the traditions stopped and i didn't see him as much. after a few years, when i was in my heavy christian phase, leanne and i invited jason to church. he threw himself into the lifestyle just as i did, but he quickly fell out of it too. while we were both in it, we did have some good memories. we went to laurelville and had a great time there. then we went to jumonville and also had a memorable time. not to mention, jumonville is one of my favorite camps. the view is spectacular.. and the 60ft. cross is amazing. they do have the best chairs to sit in too. lol. then for one of our biggest trips as a youth group, we went to dc/la. it was a great trip. a whole week in dc. we went with another youth group too, so it was quite an experience for all of us. but i think about a month after that, jason fell out of his religious-mode. later... he got into drugs. i'm still not certain about which ones he did. i know he smoked pot regularly, but he doesn't anymore. i pleaded with him to not do those things. he'd get drunk, go look for trouble, and either end up in a fight, in the hospital, or involved with the police. but now... he has a daughter, hannah elizabeth (the elizabeth after me of course). i decided awhile ago, that instead of having my dad or step-dad walk me down the aisle when i get married, it'll be jason. i love him! i hope he always knows that. i'm trying to tell you something about my life-maybe give me insight between black and white-the best thing you've ever done for me-is to help me take my life less seriously-it's only life after all-well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable-and lightness has a call that's hard to hear-i wrap my fear around me like a blanket-i sailed my ship of safety till i sank it-i'm crawling on your shore-there's more than one answer to these questions-pointing me in crooked line-the less i seek my source for some definitive-the closer i am to fine ~*~liz << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 