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(4:14 am - 04.17.2002 - i have no fans - i feel  ) no one loves me anymore. it's ok, i can deal with it. here's how my hits have gone for the last 20 days or so... date and pageviews: apr 16: 0
apr 15: 1
apr 14: 2
apr 13: 2
apr 12: 2
apr 11: 1
apr 10: 0
apr 9: 1
apr 8: 1
apr 7: 4
apr 6: 0
apr 5: 0
apr 4: 0
apr 3: 0
apr 2: 0
apr 1: 1
mar 31: 2
mar 30: 1
mar 29: 1
mar 28: 3
mar 27: 51 i just don't know how one day you can go from 51 hits down to 3, and then eventually to a big fat 0. i guess it's because of my lack or updates (and the obvious lack of quality entries). well, whatever. i can lie and say it doesn't bother me, and i don't care if people care about reading my crap, but, i do! ugh. since i did sign up for the whole year gold membership, i could make a banner to try and get more people here, but, what's the point? if i wasn't the one that wrote this crap, i probably wouldn't read it either! i finally finished stephs mix and even mailed it the next day! whoa! after like 2 months of procrastionating about it! hehe. a random thought: i really dislike shakira, but i really like the new no doubt song "hella-good." maybe it's just because they stole my useage of the word "hella". is "hella" even a word? it's been sooo nice out lately! aside from a tad of rain here and there, wow. i finally shut off the furnace! duh! it was like 80 degrees outside, and stupid me, still had the heat kicking inside. my mom loved that. she'll appreciate the electric bill this month. ok i hate this! i started getting more and more spam in my hotmail account. i usually will open each email and look for the unsubscribe thing or whatever to stop getting these crappy things. well, for at least 5 of the ones i got today, i had to email the address with just the word "unsubscribe" in the subject line. well, i did just as it says, and i get an email back saying the delivery was a failure! ugh. stupid spammers. i don't get nearly as much spam as mark does though. he'll get over 40 spams a day, i get about 10. i'm quick to block them or take myself off the mailing lists though. it just sucks, cause when i sign into my msn messenger, it says i have like 24 messages, and more than half are spam, and the other 10 or so are from diaryland, notifying me that someone has joined one of my diaryrings. i don't really care about who joins the other rings i have. i only visit the members of my 311unity ring (obviously), and my hoobastank ringers. there are just so many diarylanders! such variety! it just boggles my mind! yeah, i'm stupid. since it was so nice today (almost near 90!) i decided to go up on the roof and get a little burn on. i was only up there for an hour or so, and it worked. i can still feel the heat radiating from my shoulders. i burn way too easily, and considering that i was on a black tar roof, that didn't help reflect the sun any. there were also these 2 annoying sand bees that wouldn't leave me alone. i hit them with the book i was reading. then some hornets came around. oh joy. they were trying to get into this little hole in the house. when they left, i shoved some paper in the hole so they couldn't get in anymore. mom is getting surgery tomorrow on her shoulder. she actually planned on getting this about 2 years ago, and now finally is going through with it. she just came back from martinsville, virginia. this was the first nascar race she's been to since dale died. mom talks about dale earnhardt like he was actually a part of our family. she's brainwashed everyone else she knows into liking nascar, except for me. i might have a feeble mind, but i can resist her nascar vibes. i had another dream about leanne. this time she was in some band. singing "rape me" by nirvana. but she sang it three times right in a row. she apologized for "being so wasted." it was just weird. i know why i had it though. i finally found this mix that she had made for me. i've been looking for it for a few months. that song just happened to be on there too. i almost wanted to email her and tell her that i've been thinking of her, and maybe we should hang out or whatever sometime. but, i didn't. it would be fruitless. her birthday in on the 28th. i really wonder what she's up to. i bet so much has happened, or maybe not. maybe she's still the bitchy, self righteous person she always has been. the current cds i can't get enough of at work are 1. the clash - london calling 2. good charlotte - self titled 3. the scorpion king soundtrack 4. and the two live 311 cds i have - particularly the song "hydroponic" and "who's got the herb?" - not because i'm a big pot smoker (i never have) just because the beat gets me so happy! and just they way nick says today's lyrical selection (see bottom of entry). i love that! i listened to it 8 times in a row on monday. ugh, so anyways. joe from work started drinking again. he used to be a big alcoholic, but right when i started nitestock he wasn't drinking. well, now he started again, and calls off every nite! it's so annoying! i bet he's an angry drunk too. his wife works at the store, and apparently she's making him move out. that's what he gets. anyyywayyssss. i think i'll leave now. no one wants me here! everything i eat is from the earth-right-i am what i eat straight up earth-right-nothing but a walking sack of earth-nice to meet you-how do ya do-guess what-ya you're one too-my skin holds me in-my brain moves me then-boom-i jump straight off the speaker in a form a celebration-that we're moving-freely disconnected-i'm truly grateful i'm going back to the earth-i'm not gonna waste life being hateful ~*~liz ps. i love you guys. whoever is reading this. << - >> if you really loved me, you'd buy me presents | 